Fear of the Dark Side

By Fidel "Butch" Montoya

A week after the horrendous shootings in Newtown, Conn., Colorado Governor John Hickenlooper along with Denver Mayor Michael Hancock called on citizens to pause at the exact time the shooting occurred and to remember the innocent victims of the mass shootings. 

As we stood in silence in front of the City Hall tower, as the first of 26 chimes began to toll, each toll seem to flash into my mind the mental images of the shootings in Newtown.  

I understood the purpose of pausing in silence, trying to understand and comprehend the reasons for the shock we still felt, and trying to find some way to erase the visuals of children crying as they ran from the school, first responders running into the school to stop what some teachers called a “wild animal loose in the building.”  

The most difficult scenes were the parents waiting near the fire house praying and hoping their children would be seen running from carnage in the school, for many parents, their children never came.

This week, we have heard a New Haven lawyer plans to fill a $100 million dollar suit against the school district, claiming it could have done more to protect the children from arguably the deadest school shooting in our history.  

Attorney Irving Pinsksy claimed in the lawsuit, a 6 year old client was traumatized by what she heard on the intercom which was accidently switched on. The “conversations, shooting, & screaming” of the horrific shooting which left some children shot multiple times as they tried to hide from the deranged shooter.  Pinsksy said the school district had failed to keep the children safe.

But as I stood silently in the cold morning waiting for the bells to toll 26 times in memory of these precious children, I thought what are we going to do?  Down the street from the State Capitol, gun dealers were already out of stock of the AR-15, or the bullet clips that hold 30 or more bullets.

As we memorialized the victims, as we heard the bells from churches, government towers, schools, others were standing in line to buy their automatic weapons and other weapon options.  

The Colorado Bureau of Investigation which handles background checks in Colorado has not been able to keep up.  According to the Associated Press, while the data for December is not available yet, the Federal Bureau of Investigation says they had completed 2% more background checks by the end of November. 

The Associated Press reports that many of the gun runners who ran to their favorite gun store claimed the comments by President Barrack Obama and other politicians calling for more gun control, created the run to purchase automatic weapons before the government placed a ban on these weapons.

America stands at a Y in the road, to move forward with gun reform, or to pontificate, preach, march, or write op-eds to set the stage for a grass roots movement to get rid of automatic weapons in our country.  Now we hear because of the panic sales of automatic weapons, some of these sales should be grandfathered in to prevent or slow down the sale of automatic weapons, while our politicians gather enough courage to put pen to law and send these laws on for the signature of President Obama.

We hear phrases like “gun control,” “gun reform,” “automatic weapons ban,” “automatic weapons ban on gun options like clips which can hold 100 bullets.”  Whatever phrase we use, we cannot back away from the public commitments to do something.  

On Fox News Sunday, California Democratic Senator Dianne Feinstein says America needs to bite the bullet and move forward on gun control.  "When you have someone walking in and slaying, in the most brutal way, 6-year-olds, something is really wrong,"

I believe we all believe “something is really wrong.”  But it is not just the automatic weapons and clips that “hunter’s purchase to go hunting or target practice.”  I don’t want to get dead locked on why we may think these weapons are needed to hunt or to shoot at practice targets.  I would like for all of us to admit together that something is really wrong with these weapons being so readily available to almost anyone, including the mentally ill.

If we can come together as Americans and realize we must not allow the shootings of Newtown to fade in our memory like Columbine High School may have for so many, just maybe we can start a long term effort to do what is necessary to stop the sale of these weapons.  

Not to demean the parents and other victims of these gut wrenching shootings, but many Americans who cried out “something is really wrong” after the Columbine High School, Virginia Tech, the Aurora Movie Theater, and the other shootings in the recent past, have allowed their voices to go silent.

But as I stood waiting for those 26 tolls of the bell, I thought of other victims in our gun crazy society who have been killed by illegal guns.  Gangsters who drive by with automatic weapons, killing rival gang members.  Unfortunately, injuring other innocent victims, and killing young children or teenagers who had nothing to do with rival gang politics.

These shootings sometimes don’t even make the news on the television newscast, or if reported in the newspaper, you probably have to search very carefully to find any details or information about another family affected by gun violence.

Yes, if we were to count the number of people shot in our neighborhoods in our cities every week, we would be shocked by the large number of victims, and shooters who seem to simply slip into the night.  Yes, we march in the streets, we write our op-eds in the local newspapers, we write to our Senators and Representatives who politely send us a form letter thanking us for writing, and if we are lucky, maybe they will show up for the rally or march.

But what is really happening to those letters?  Does it come down to Senator John Doe receiving 150 letters opposed to gun control, and only 100 wanting more to be done.  Who then pushes the green button on the Senator’s desk when it comes time to vote against gun control?  The big campaign supporter who promises to continue to support the Senator, and by the way, Senator, what was the name of your favorite charity?  Meanwhile, we go around proud of ourselves because we wrote our letter to our Senator, then wonder what else we can do.

What is it that we have to do to realize “something is really wrong?”  Gun reform is not just about the big news stories that capture our attention for a week.  When automatic weapons are being used by criminals or gangs on the streets in our cities that outgun the police, I don’t hear any United States Senator calling for gun control.

When a gang member does a drive by shooting and kills the innocent victims who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, maybe we will hear from an elected official.  Sometimes the news media may even do a story that causes us to pause, about the victims, the shooter, family and friends left behind. But then quickly we go on with our lives.

I think it is time we realize that “something is really wrong,” is right now.  It is not just the big gut wrenching national stories like Newtown, Aurora Theater, or in whatever state or city.  When an automatic weapon is used to rob a bank, used by gang-bangers, or used to kill innocent people in our cities or neighborhoods, we better stop and do something because something is really wrong.

Years ago, as a photojournalist I covered a funeral for an alleged gang member.  I spoke to family members before the service and assured them I would not interfere as I covered the memorial service.  I kept my distance and honored their privacy, but to this day, I can hear the young man’s mother cry out for her son.  “Oh, Joe.”  “Oh, my Joe.”  She called out to her Hito Joe, shot and killed in a gun battle.  This happened more than 37 years ago.

The haunting call still rings in my heart and the memories in my mind still very much alive of this mom as she was being pushed in her wheelchair into the chapel.  The cry now more muffled, but more eerie sounding as the doors closed and for the last time, I heard her cry out, “Oh, my Joe.”

Will we wait again until the cries, screams, and the noise generated by the guns used by the next insane killer slowly drift away in our memories until the next shooting that shakes us out of our daily routine, and almost in unison, we cry out, “something is really wrong.”

If something is really wrong, what are we going to do about it?